| Archive for harlesdenwandererscc.myfreeforum.org This will be a forum for Harlesden Wanderers Cricket Club members, which will be accessed via the official HWCC website |
| Wilkesoid |
2007 season Hall of InfamyWorst of the worst from the season to date:In the worst shot of the season stakes, and following on from JP’s slog against GWR [“What a crap shot, I lost concentration”], I’d like to think that we can all agree that Ali’s double, consecutive ball swipe at Shepperton will take some beating, even when Birdy ventures to Devon. Worst attempt quick single probably goes to JP, who hared [or do I mean tortoised?] half way down while Ali relaxed at the non strikers end, turned like the proverbial aircraft carrier and was run out via a deflection from the keepers pads. Worst piece of captaincy goes to myself, for asking Aman to go and sweep at deep cover point because “ I seem to remember that this bloke likes to play the cut shot”….a pity that I failed to remember that he was also a left handed bat! Worst physical specimen – probably Raff. |
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| admin |
And worst start to a match; Dorrington bowling two consecutive rank wides, which if he had the pace of Harmison, might well have gone to second slip... | ||
| Steve Hunnisett |
In the worst shot stakes, I would like to nominate Ali Dog for playing a London of a shot at Shepperton, narrowly avoiding getting bowled by it and then repeating the whole exercise again thus ensuring his dismissal second time around! 
In the most improved Derby category, I would like to second Tim's nomination of Raphael Bent who has either joined the Keith Lane Fan Club or is suffering from a phantom pregnancy. |
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| Wilkesoid |
Most unhealthy tea....Mr H Goswami at Shepperton. 8 biscuits and two packets of crisps. | ||
| Steve Hunnisett |
Biggest teaIn the biggest tea category, I would like to nominate Mr Raphael Bent for having procured the monster tea at Eastcote yesterday. Even though he may have been feeding 3 people, this tea still fell into the Laneoid category!
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| Steve Hunnisett |
The Golden Duckoid AwardThis week's award goes to Tim Wilkes. This dismissal was sheer class as he was also nutmegged by the ball that bowled him. I'm sure that The Administrator will also have something to say about this having been on the wrong end of some choice e-mails last week! |
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| Wilkesoid |
I'm thinking of changing my username to ADOLF, as he is well known for only having one ball [the other residing in The Albert Hall, if I remember the song correctly].
Despite not exactly coming from a position of strength this week, in my defence [of which I had none yesterday], my 1st baller was a badly executed shot. Those of Ali and Raff were berzerk. |
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| admin |
Tim Wilke's explanation on his 'nutmeg' dismissal. What he failed to mention was that he wasn't facing a bowler, more rather a Beckham freekick! |
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| Jonah |
I think the true genius in Raf's dismissal was the shot in the context of the game - a couple of overs left, possibility of hanging on for a draw, debate on the boundary as to whether the bowler would be to good for him and how he might get out - MUNG! Jaysus! Well batted lads! | ||
| Steve Hunnisett |
Himmler had something similar (apparently)..... | ||
| Steve Hunnisett |
In fairness to Raphoid, in the previous over, when the oppo were p*ssing about with field changes before Raph faced his first ball, Crommo (who was non-striker) just said to me "bowl him a straight one, that'lll be good enough!"
And he was right..... |
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| Wilkesoid |
Most greedy bugger at tea - Raph, who had a plateful at Eastcote that would have made Laney struggle. | ||
| Mikeyboy |
A very good attempt at changing the subject Mr Wilkes - I believe we were discussing your entry in the Primary Club 
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| Wilkesoid |
I took one for the team
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| Jonah |
'One' being the operative word there Wilkesey | ||
| Wilkesoid |
I blame the skipper, mostly cos he is a soft target who does not frequent this message board 
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| Steve Hunnisett |
Talking of changing the subject - it was refreshing to hear the Doctor showing his customary disregard of pain on Sunday night - and he hadn't even played!!!! | ||
| Wilkesoid |
Making a tricky catch look impossible award 2007 - Yours Truly at silly mid off versus Kempton.
Most outrageous avoidance of dropped catch fine after clearly getting a hand to one just a week after somebody [me!!] was fined for not getting a hand to one - Aman Saigal Most bitter cricketer award - probably me |
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| Bertie Smalls |
I'm told that Uncle Dim missed a sitter at Short Leg yesterday and is now moaning about being charged 50 pence for it whilst Aman was justifiably let off for an impossible chance.
There are some very bitter people about......... |
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| Wilkesoid |
Light and bitter people, I would hope
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| Wilkesoid |
Rahul Gholap award for getting out to a 14 year old girl...Johnny P and friends! | ||
| Bertie Smalls |
Yes, those who got out to a 14 year old girl with a suspect action should hang their heads in shame. You know who you are!!!! | ||
| admin |
What's all this - a girloid getting some of the lads out!?
That's just carnage - poor Wilkesoid has had it in the neck for his bowling at 12 year olds, but this is definitely the next step up from that! What a shame I wasn't there with the cameroid to catch these moments! What did the Doctor have to say about this, I bet he wasn't impressed?! |
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| Wilkesoid |
Did anybody catch her surname? I think she may be realted to our Web Admin Overlord as.
a. She was a chucker b. She bowled a fair few wides c. She drank lager [puftaid, as our Chairman calls it] d. She had a dodgy haircut e...oh, hang on, forget my theory....she took some wickets
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| Bertie Smalls |
Presumably Tim would have been gagging to bowl at her as presumably given his bowling record against 8 year old boys, he would have fancied his chances against a 14 year old girl. Bowling at her that is...... | ||
| admin |
Fair play, although I do base myself on the Steve 'pea-heart' Harmison approach - bowl em wide and sh*te, then suprise em with a straight one. Works every time, in fact I don't know why I've not adopted this approach before, and that indeed sh*te does get wickets - I guess which explains your bowling success Wilkesey! 
So as the great JP would say, "So tell us Tim" due to the inclusion of facing a female bowler was this as to how you actually scored some runs this weekend? bahahhahaaaa |
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| Bertie Smalls |
I hear that Tim had already got himself out rather than face the certain indignity of being cleaned out by a 14 year old girl. Fear does strange things to a man.......... | ||
| Wilkesoid |
I saw the shine off the new ball [with my pad, of course ]. I then got out to a great piece of cricket.
Spinner bowls long hop
I toe end a dolly to point 
Cover fielder juggles it 3 times before taking it 
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| Steve Hunnisett |
Bit like your attempt at short leg apart from the "caught" bit! Talk us through that catch then Wilkesey. Baaahahahaha!!! | ||
| Wilkesoid |
I got as much of a hand to it as Aman did to the one that everyone said "aaah, it was hit very hard" and therefore no fine was issed 
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| admin |
I hope that 'drop' wasn't off the girloid, Wilkesey? | ||
| Bertie Smalls |
Why aren't you available next week then Tim? You heard that Brentham got a 14 year old girl playing? 
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| Wilkesoid |
I'm sorry to say that I am up North on Sunday week, so I'll be unable to keep up my exemplary record against Brentham...
controversial catch/drop caught at deep mid wicket off long hop bowled by full bunger etc |
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| Jonah |
Unceremoniously running out your teammates... | ||
| Bertie Smalls |
It's always nice to see a man who doesn't bear a grudge...... | ||
| Wilkesoid |
I ran you out cos JP was in next and I wanted some shots played.... |
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| Jonah |
Perhaps you should have tried running yourself out then...BAAAAHHHHHHH!!!!! | ||
| Bertie Smalls |
The Master FraudsterWord reaches me that we have a "Master Fraudster" amongst us. Apparently, Gillian was the victim of credit card cloning recently and the perpetrator spent a large amount of money in Italy during the last Bank Holiday weekend. Coincidentally, there were three HWCC players/officials in Italy at this time, Messrs Bird, Hunnisett and Wilkes. This seems too much of a coincidence and further investigation has indeed exposed the criminal element within our ranks. By a simple method of elimination, we have deduced that it could not have been Birdy - the country where he now lives takes a very dim view of theft and chops hands off in punishment - and the last time we looked Birdy was intact! It could not possibly be Steve Hunnisett - as club umpire, he is a pillar of the establishment and therefore beyond suspicion. Step forward then, Uncle Dim - Assistant Club Treasurer, who I believe has already confessed to this heinous crime, using the pathetic excuse that he needed to pay his bar bills. The whole business of the lost baggage was a smokescreen in order to smuggle the money back into the UK and to let the dust settle. It is indeed worrying that this man is allowed near the Club's funds...... |
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| admin |
Sounds like he's as guilty as sin!
Well Wilkesoid, what do you have to say in your defence?! |
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| Bertie Smalls |
As my cover has been blown, I am now going to take my cyanide capsule 
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| Wilkesoid |
I will not confess, even under torture....well, unless that torture consists of fielding in the slips when either of our strike bowlers are operating, as that is just too mind numbing.
And I think you'll find that the only thing of Gillians that I have stolen is her heart...
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| admin |
But don't you have to be able to catch to field at slip Wilkesey!? bahahaaa
Either that or you can't run, those two elements tend to be the normal criteria for a 'slipper'! |
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| Steve Hunnisett |
Nomination for the most drunk person of the year award - Laneoid after the Paddington game - speaking fluent Martian!
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| admin |
Aye that was classic - he was well and truly f*cked!
Saying that the Dr was truly sozzled too, which reminds me I shall be putting his quote up in the quotes section shortly! |
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| Steve Hunnisett |
Oh yes, The Dr had had an early start with the champagne and then onto the beer. He was certainly away with the fairies as well as Laneoid! | ||
| Steve Hunnisett |
Talk us through those wickets then Wilksey.......... | ||
| admin |
And I heard that it could have been a 'Michelle' had it not been for a drop by Raphoid!? | ||
| Wilkesoid |
Yup, I could have been on the HWCC Honours Board had Raph not spilled the youngster after I deceived him with a waist high full bunger. Next over the little bugger almost deposited me in the next field
Shockingly, despite the lob nature of my bowling, the wickets...that would be 4 wickets, Jonah!!...all came with reasonable dleiveries that pitched on the cut surface One even turned 
A better stat, however, is Alli taking 14 overs to get off the mark
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| Wilkesoid |
Oh, and one of the oppo bowled the widest wide I've ever seen...between gulley and cover point, after pitching by his feet and bouncing about 5 times. |
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| admin |
So I heard from Steve - the guy bowled was it 6 wides in his first over?
Alas, someone who's bowled more wides than I! |
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| Mikeyboy |
He who bowls several head high full bungers that sees the wicketkeeper running for cover should refrain from commenting about wides really!
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| Wilkesoid |
At least 2 balls an over landed on the cut surface...I call that progress
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| admin |
Head balls eh Wilkesoid?
Luckily poor old JW wasn't keeping, otherwise he might have worn a couple on his favourite stomping ground! |
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| Steve Hunnisett |
Yes, it was nice not having to do the pick up from A&E this year! | ||
| admin |
Our good friend Bertie Smalls has informed me that our friend, Wilkesoid, wore the 'duck-hat' yesterday?!
Is that true, Tim? |
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| Bertie Smalls |
The Duck Hat is being dusted down and made ready for the tour. Who will be the first to wear it?? | ||
| admin |
I've heard that the odds are looking good for Wilkesey - apparently he's building a pond for his collection.
Bahahaaaahhaaaaa |
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| admin |
Here's one for you Wilkesey...
http://www.d10.karoo.net/ruby/quiz/50/duck.bmp |
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| admin |
Wilkesey - you didn't tell us you'd been on the radio!?
Or should we, say, "Alright, Barry, my son!" ha ha http://mediaweb.musicradio.com/MP...48A0C20CA4A8390240F51B06BB0E9.mp3 |
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